Working for "The Company"

(This allegory hit me at 4:00am this morning.)

There once was a man named Neville, who worked for a company. The company was a good company. They offered decent benefits, the comradery among the employees was pretty good, they had weekends off...just generally, a good company to work for.

Neville was very proud of his company and told lots of people about it. He told his neighbors, his barber, his mechanic and even his postman. He bragged often about the benefits his company offered. He even carried in his back pocket a pamphlet that told about the company, and he always kept several in his glove box in his car...you never know when someone might want to hear about this great company.

He had a neighbor named Willie that he had been sharing information about his company with for a few years. Willie had a good job with another company that was just as good, (and even better in some ways) as Neville’s company, but Neville really doubted that Willie’s company was a good company to work for, in fact, Neville thought Willie’s company HAD to be inferior to his.

After a lot of well-meaning pushing and prodding, Neville convinced Willie to come to his place of work for a week long Open House. Each day they shared with those interested enough to come, the various good attributes of the company. Willie was rather impressed with what he heard. Each evening as the Open House presentation ended, the moderator would extend an invitation to fill out an application to possibly become an employee. It turned out the Open House was also a Job Fair of sorts and the company, by it’s own admission, was always “looking for a few good men & women”, if they met the standards set by corporate.

At the end of the week, Willie was convinced to fill out the application and it was accepted. He was so excited! He was now going to work for The Company, which is how they referred to themselves. He was given the date of his first day and he joyfully turned in his 2 week notice to his old company. Willie’s old company never really even tried to convince him to stay, so it was an easy transition...at first.

First day on the job he was given a checklist. This wasn’t just a checklist for him to follow at work, but a checklist that he was to keep up with even at home. It told him what he should eat, what he should wear, no alcohol was to be drank, smoking was prohibited and if he did any of these things he would be put on notice. At first, Willie thought nothing of it, after all, The Company had a right to be well represented to the outside world. He was even given a name badge with The Company logo on it and was told that he should openly share and recruit people to come work for The Company. He jumped into it with gusto! He told everyone; the guy at the gas pump next to him, the garbage man, the person picking out tomatoes at the grocery, even the lady who was visiting the grave of her mother which was next to the grave of his mother.

One morning, Willie realized that he had some questions about some things on the checklist. He wasn’t exactly sure how to go about doing them. He then realized that no one had ever really put him through orientation. He was just given his checklist and left alone. He was able to keep up for a while, but with no one to mentor him he just lost his way, and within 6 months, he quit The Company. No one seemed to really care...not that they didn’t care, they just never really learned how to mentor a new comer.

Unfortunately, Willie never returned to his old company either. He just floundered for years with no real job. He would occasionally find a neat place to work for a while, but it never really felt right. Nothing really felt right anymore. The End.